Unleashing Your Superpower Read online

  Unleashing Your SUPERPOWER

  Copyright © 2019 by Jeff Tippett All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author except as provided by USA copyright law.

  The opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily those of Wisdom House Books, Inc.

  Published by Wisdom House Books, Inc.

  Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27514 USA

  1.919.883.4669 | www.wisdomhousebooks.com

  Wisdom House Books is committed to excellence in the publishing industry.

  Book design copyright © 2019 by Wisdom House Books, Inc. All rights reserved.

  Cover and Interior design by Ted Ruybal

  Published in the United States of America

  Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7335338-0-5 LCCN: 2018914984

  SEL040000 SELF-HELP / Communication & Social Skills

  SEL027000 SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Success

  SEL023000 SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Self-Esteem

  First Edition

  14 13 12 11 10 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Contents

  The Means to Persuade

  Questions for Reflection

  Manipulation vs. Persuasion

  Questions for Reflection

  Simple Message

  1 . Debrief Yourself

  2. Ask yourself: “What problem does this solve?”

  3 . Ask what is crucial. Strike everything else.

  4. Remove all internal (or generally unknown) jargon

  Questions for Reflection

  Capturing Their Attention Early

  1. Start with them

  2. Use short sentences

  3. Ask your reader a question

  4. Use a shocking quote

  5. Share a statistic

  6. Share a fact

  7. Invite your reader to imagine

  8. Disrupt your audience

  Questions for Reflection

  Making It Sticky

  Repetition

  Alliteration

  Rhyming

  Questions for Reflection

  Helping Others Find Their Win

  1. First, listen.

  2. Next, ask questions.

  3. Finally, seek alignment.

  Questions for Reflection

  Making a Connection

  1. Humor

  2. Compassion

  3. Empathy

  4. Storytelling

  5. Authenticity

  Questions for Reflection

  Positioning Your Message

  1. Loss Aversion vs. Prospect Theory

  2. Emotion vs. Logic (fear, hate, anger )

  3. Binary vs. non-binary options

  Questions for Reflection

  Crafting Your Call to Action

  1. Make your ask clear.

  2. Be sure to use a strong action verb.

  3. Make it personal; use “you” and “your.”

  4. Communicate value

  5. Be clever

  6. Express emotion

  7. Create a sense of urgency

  8. Use a singular call to action

  9. Use strong, precise, punchy language

  10. Reduce risk

  11. Establish scarcity

  12. Power of a crowd

  13. Make it easy

  Questions for Reflection

  Becoming an Industry Expert

  1. Understand your skills.

  2. Figure out you.

  3. Find your audience.

  Questions for Reflection

  A Few Additional Things

  1. There’s more than one path

  2. Persuasion doesn’t follow a linear path

  3. These are generally accepted practices

  5. Know your audience

  6. Test

  Trust Is Crucial

  1. Be consistent

  2. Deliver as promised

  3. Be open and authentic

  4. Show confidence

  5. Be truthful

  6. Make people feel safe

  7. Say “no” sometimes

  8. Be open to feedback

  9. Make time

  10. Be reliable

  Questions for Reflection

  The Greater Good

  About the Author

  If you could have any one superpower, what would you choose?

  As a kid, I wondered this all the time. Perhaps too much. The ability to fly? The ability to simply mention money, and it would appear? Control minds?

  I could never settle. Just when I thought I’d decided, the abilities of another superhero would catch my attention. But each of them had limitations.

  What about you? What superpower would you choose?

  Well, I finally found mine. My superpower is persuasive communications.

  And my bold declaration is this: We all live or die based on our ability to persuade.

  Think about it: Everyone needs to persuade. Whether you’re a CEO of a growing firm, a manager with direct responsibility for the performance of those you lead, a salesperson whose income is directly related to your ability to close the sale, or simply an individual hoping to live life with the company of a significant other, we all have to persuade. But how effective are you? And could you do a better job of persuading—and creating better results—for those around you?

  So how do you go about developing this power? It’s not as daunting as it seems. Here’s my audacious promise. If you will take in, determine how they work for you, and apply the concepts that I’m going to share with you, you will:

  Increase your effectiveness.

  Have a powerful new tool to help you reach your goals.

  Positively impact your organization or business.

  These concepts are tested and proven. They produce results.

  And they will work for you.

  I want you to win.

  I believe in creating and riding waves. But not just for myself. I love seeing others win, as well. I believe that many of you reading this book have great ideas. You have the calling to change circumstances for great numbers of people. Maybe you lead a nonprofit or are a fundraiser or a politician. Whatever it is you do, you’ll only be successful when you persuade others to join you on your journey.

  You’ve probably watched, with admiration, as someone persuades others and ultimately creates a win for everyone involved. I hope you’ve wondered what the secret sauce is that’s driving this person’s success.

  Maybe it’s the politician who captures her audience. Banners are raised. People are smiling and cheering. Constituents are motivated, and they turn out to vote.

  We’ve all seen people like Barack Obama who can stand before an arena of people, inspiring them to feel hope, urging them onward, moving them to tears, and compelling them to join him on a journey to bring change. He was able to persuade enough people to come along that he was elected president twice.

  On the other hand, you’ve also seen the politician who just can’t quite connect with an audience. Though they seem to want to get behind him, they, instead, go home scratching their heads. He failed to connect.

  Maybe you’ve been in a meeting with your CEO. The company is going through a major transition. And although it’s a positive one, you and your colleagues aren’t on board. You feel the CEO is only out for herself. The message is wrong.

  Another CEO facing the same challenge has the entire room on its feet. They’re motivated. They’re excited about the change, and they roll
up their sleeves, ready to make it happen.

  Maybe it’s the entrepreneur who’s looking for funders. How does he convince them to come along? Maybe it’s your pastor, making a convincing case for salvation.

  Here’s some encouragement: Winning through persuasion isn’t for a select few. It’s for anyone who’s willing to hone the right skills and put them to work. It doesn’t take a Barack Obama to stir people into action. Maybe we all can’t move an entire nation, but we can hone the skills that it takes to determine and better articulate what we say, how we structure it, how we voice it—how we pull people along on a mutually advantageous journey.

  Life isn’t a pie with limited slices. Life is a huge buffet, with more dishes being perpetually added.

  But you have to want it and be willing to thoroughly think it through.

  • • •

  I’d now like to tell you a little about myself and why I’m writing this book.

  Growing up, I was always a go-get-it kind of kid. My mother was forever admonishing me to, “Settle down, Jeffery. Settle down.”

  But it made no sense to me. It just didn’t register. Why settle down when there was so much to be done—so much to discover? Why settle down when there were so many cool things I could be out there doing?

  Yep, I was that kid. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be out there making something happen.

  By the time I’d entered elementary school, I was in hyperdrive.

  The most common comments on my report card were: “Jeff continues to talk too much in class.” “Jeff has a hard time sitting still in his seat.” I was that Ritalin kid who the teachers prayed—prayed each day—had taken his meds.

  I felt pressures, both internal and external. My parents expected me to earn good grades. It wasn’t a wish, it was a mandate. And though I started out with the impression that good grades were dependent upon my homework, quizzes, tests—quantifiable things—I learned, in time, that there was another equally important factor: my teacher’s impressions of me. I worked at making a more positive impression, and I know it made a difference.

  Outside the classroom, I was always looking for the next big thing. I wanted to be at the head of the pack.

  One of my earliest memories of persuading other kids to follow me was when I was eight or so, leading my friends through the neighborhood woods with torches we’d devised and, not surprisingly, accidentally setting a small fire. Fortunately, we were able to put it out ourselves. What a rush it was, charging forward, ablaze. I suppose there’s a metaphor there.

  I think my DNA is hardwired for entrepreneurship. From an early age, I was on the hunt for business opportunities. Yard work was an early opportunity. But I wasn’t content with simply mowing lawns. Instead, I landed the “contracts,” and then hired my friends to do the work. It was called Snoopy’s Yard Service.

  In the spring, I would knock on my neighbors’ doors to see if they wanted their lawn mowed, and in the fall, see if they wanted someone to rake up their leaves. I even created little yard signs that I set up with scraps that my father, who was in the construction business, would have around.

  My friends wanted work, and I had it. And now I was in business. I had a consistent revenue stream, steady clients. I was putting people to work, and now I was free to do other things.

  I’d pay everyone enough to be happy and keep a share for myself. There were things I wanted to buy, and I liked the idea of saving.

  I was the rainmaker—or whatever the eleven-year-old version of rainmaker would be. I’d shaken the bushes and secured the work.

  My first real job, my first W2, was cleaning up a radio station at night and on weekends. Over time, I got to know the owners, and landed a job as a weekend DJ. I had a real job.

  I’m a classically trained pianist, and at fifteen, I got my first church gig, playing organ during services. Now I was really generating revenue.

  I finished high school a year early, but at about the same time, I encountered a detour. My father had a run-in with the minister of the church where I was playing—and where I was also active in the youth group, and dating that minister’s daughter—and he gave me an ultimatum: either leave the church or leave the house. I left the house.

  I was seventeen; I packed my things and found a place to live. I was supporting myself with two or three jobs. Making it happen required quite a bit persuasion of all kinds.

  I was learning how to make things happen. Whatever it was that needed to happen—a place to live, income—I was finding a way to make it happen.

  Though I never paused to think about it for long at the time, I can say now that, at times, I thought something was wrong with me. Why was I always starting something new? Why couldn’t I just settle for average? Why couldn’t I just be calm like everyone around me? Why was I always stirring something up?

  Only when I embraced who I am, and came to love what made me different, did I realize that there’s a reason I am who I am. The passion and drive were in me for a reason. I had value to bring to others.

  So now we’re at the moment I’ve been building to.

  It was late June of 2003. My father, with whom I’d reconciled, had just returned from a mission trip to Haiti. We were to meet at a restaurant to hear about his trip and look at his pictures. Though I wish I could say I was anxiously awaiting the details of his trip, I was more excited that we were meeting at a barbeque restaurant I liked.

  There was nothing unusual about our dinner until he pulled out the photographs of his trip. Among them was one of a baby. A baby just months old. And this baby needed a home.

  Now everything changed. Forever.

  Her looking into my eyes—it ignited something within me.

  Why was I drawn to this picture? How did I know deep inside that I was the one the universe had chosen to be her father? I had never considered adoption. I had a three-year-old daughter and a five-month-old son. The last thing I needed was two babies at once.

  If you know anything about international adoptions, you know they can be rough. The travel, learning the way business is done in another country; the wear on the emotions, determination and finances. This adoption was no different. In fact, the struggle was escalated since President Jean-Bertrand Aristide’s government was collapsing.

  The government falling apart compounded the already difficult tasks of an international adoption. I remember getting an email from my attorney, informing me that the adoptions offices were shut down, with no indication of when they would reopen.

  My adoption was now on hold. But something inside me couldn’t accept this reality. Within a couple of days, I was back in Haiti. My plan was to walk to that office every morning, hoping someone would happen to come in, even though the office wasn’t officially open.

  So for days, I did just that. Every morning, I would walk to the office. I would sit there all day, then return to my attorney’s home each night, empty handed.

  Until one day. One day, someone showed.

  You can likely imagine how pent up I was when this official finally showed. My emotions were on edge, and I didn’t have many English-speaking people around for me to vent. Once I finally had an audience with this official, I spouted out all my demands of what he should do for me. My approach was to make this official do what I wanted—regardless of what that took. My story was filled with words like “I,” “me,” and “my.”

  And this official told me, “No.”

  I knew I had to reframe my messaging—quickly. I had to get this on track. Drawing from what I had learned about Haitians, I knew they loved their children. They viewed them as jewels.

  So, I changed my approach. I began to talk about this Haitian baby that didn’t have a home, no financial resources, no promise of education or love.

  And instantly, this government official changed his mind. Within ten minutes, my paper was signed, and I was on my way.

  I reflected on what had just transpired my en
tire walk back to my attorney’s home.

  Up to this point, I thought my archenemy was the deteriorating Haitian bureaucracy. I viewed the government as the obstacle keeping me from accomplishing my worthy goal of adopting this baby. After all, employees of the government rarely showed up for work, and were uncooperative when they did. The unrest within the government was prompting people to riot, creating life-threatening situations I had never encountered. As a result of this complete dysfunction, I felt that the entire government was against me. And I had to take down this enemy.

  But walking back to my Haitian attorney’s house, I couldn’t help but ponder what had happened. The government official went from blockage to compliance. What changed? Why did he first say no, then say yes?

  I had built a solid reputation for getting things done. If the job needed to be completed—no matter how complicated—just get Jeff on board. He’d get it done. But what if that meant I was a master manipulator, determined to get my way no matter the cost or consequence to others?

  Although I wanted to blame the government, what I now knew was that I was my own enemy. My general mode of operation was to manipulate. I was focused on my desires without any consideration of my audience. And, here, that had been the wrong approach.

  While this understanding didn’t immediately change my approach to communication, it did start the process of understanding that I needed to change. Because if I wanted to find sustainable approaches to moving others, I couldn’t manipulate. I had to persuade.

  And as a result of this lesson, my stalled adoption was back on track.

  Even with this victory, nothing was easy about this adoption. I had to take multiple trips to Haiti. I became ill during travel. Right before Christmas, we were told the adoption was completed, only to then learn that it wasn’t. It was a tough Christmas. The newly decorated bedroom of our daughter-to-be remained empty throughout what was supposed to be the most joyous season of the year.

  Then in January, another call came. The paperwork was finished. This crazy ordeal was about to end. I was going to be a father to a third child. Words couldn’t describe my excitement. I packed immediately and flew back to Haiti, arriving fully expecting to leave the next day with a beautiful baby girl.

  I picked her up from her caregiver, but I barely recognized her. She had lost a lot of weight. She was extremely sick with a double ear infection and a nasty stomach virus. I was hell-bent on getting her out quickly. I even considered trying to get a return flight that same day.